Three Critical Keys to Change

Part 2 in Three Keys to Successful Change

Change can be so difficult yet it is possible.

In his book, Change or Die, Alan Deutschman identified three critical keys that will help you make important, positive changes in your life: relate, repeat, and reframe.

 

RELATE

“Build a new relationship that will inspire you and give you hope,” Deutschman recommends.

Find a person (or community) who believes you can and will change. They “sell” you on yourself so you believe that you have the ability to change. They persuade you they’ll be your partner in the change and that their methods will work for you.

Alcoholics Anonymous and other 12 Step programs do this. They offer a community of people who believe you can change using their methods; they know it worked for them so it can work for you. This inspiration and hope has helped many, many people to change.

Depending on the kind of change you wish to make teachers, coaches, personal trainers, nutritionists, naturopaths, and many others all could play this role.

REPEAT

Deutschman says, “The new relationship helps you learn, practice, and master the new habits and skills you will need.” 

Making a change requires new ways of thinking, feeling, and acting. It can take a lot of repetition to master and integrate these new ways of being. Your person or community “trains” you, providing guidance, encouragement, and direction until your new behavior
becomes automatic and natural.

REFRAME

“The new relationship helps you learn new ways of thinking about your situation and your life,” notes Deutschman.

Over time, as you continue to relate and repeat, you see the world in a different way, a way you couldn’t see before, a way that supports you in making the change a permanent one.

Experiences with the Three Keys

Have you had experiences that fit with these three keys? Times when relate, repeat, and reframe gave you new hope, new skills, and new thinking to make an important change in your life? And also times when you didn’t have these keys in place and the change didn’t
happen?

I certainly have.

I’ve tried four or five times to learn to play the piano. I’ve never gotten close to the level of playing I wanted. I’ve criticized myself as lacking discipline and persistence.

But maybe I just haven’t found the right (for me) teacher and method of instruction that would give me the belief I could succeed, the encouragement and guidance as I learned new skills, and the new view of myself as a piano player.

It’s fun for me to see that these three keys apply to my work with clients.

When the fit between us is right, I’m able to inspire them, give them hope, and help them believe they can create lives filled with pleasure, passion and purpose.

I teach, guide, and mentor them as they practice new ways of living.

They develop new ways of thinking about themselves and their lives.

With these three keys to change in place, they are able to make the life changes they want to make.

 

Next up in the 3 Keys to Successful Change series, Making Successful Changes in Your Life.

 

Thoughts on these ideas? Click on Comments, scroll down, and write away.