“That will never work.” “What is wrong with you?” “Who do you think you are?” “That’s a stupid idea.”
If a friend talked to you this way you probably wouldn’t be friends for long. Surprisingly, though, most people do have someone who talks to them like this. It’s their Monkey Mind!
What’s Monkey Mind?
Monkey Mind is that inner voice jabbering away at you, criticizing, judging, blaming, doubting, and worrying.
Everyone has some Monkey Mind chatter going on. It’s part of being human. In fact, experts say that of our 25,000 to 60,000 thoughts a day, 90% of them are critical and the majority of these critical thoughts are aimed at ourselves.
The critical voice of Monkey Mind is often the biggest obstacle you face in creating a happy, fulfilling life. This kind of commentary droning on in your head can drain your energy and either slow you down or completely stop you from knowing and creating what you truly want in life.
Besides that, it’s no fun! If you are limited by and suffering with your Monkey Mind, I bet you’d love to stop it or at least turn down its volume. But how?
What Doesn’t Work
There are three typical responses to Monkey Mind:
1. You’re not even aware of it talking (which may mean it’s running your life without you realizing it)
2. You believe and agree with what it’s saying or
3. You argue with it.
Unfortunately, none of these responses works. These have you either following Monkey Mind’s dictates or allowing it to strengthen its power as you focus your attention on it.
What Does Work
I have had a very active and quite mean Monkey Mind. For many years I tried and tried to get out from underneath it without much success.
A number of years ago, I finally learned a strategy that helped. Using this approach I’ve had about a 90% reduction in that critical chatter.
Monkey Mind isn’t completely gone but its frequency and intensity are vastly reduced. This created a profound, positive difference in my life: Monkey Mind doesn’t run my life anymore and that frees me to be calmer, clearer, and happier.
What worked for me?
Shifting my attention away from Monkey Mind and towards what lights me up.
Yes, it’s that simple although I understand it’s not always easy.
When I notice Monkey Mind is talking I work to shift my attention as quickly as I can. I might take a few minutes to walk near the water, call a friend to chat, or read a good book — all things that light me up. If Monkey Mind persists I need to out-persist it by continuing to think about and do what lights me up.
My coaching clients have also found this to be a very powerful, effective approach. The more they focus on and shift their attention to what lights them up, the more they are able to turn down the volume on Monkey Mind.
The way to ease Monkey Mind’s grip on you and your life is to gently, steadily, and persistently shift your attention away from what it is saying and towards what lights you up.
In Your Life
If you’d like to turn down the volume on your Monkey Mind, experiment with this strategy.
1) Create a “Lights List.” What makes you smile just thinking of it? What increases your energy? What do you love? What are a few “lights on” things that are quick and easy for you to do?
2) When you notice Monkey Mind, acknowledge it.
3) Then choose something from your “Lights List” to think about or do. Keep doing this until Monkey Mind is out of the driver’s seat and you’re back running your own life.
The key to this simple strategy is to gently persist, focusing on what lights you up until you have loosened Monkey Mind’s grip on you.
As you turn down the volume on Monkey Mind you’ll experience more calm and peace and you’ll be able to create more of what you truly want in life.
How do you quiet your Monkey Mind? Tell us in Comments below.
{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
Good one, Bonnie! I have had a hard time in my life with my inner critic because I had been programmed by outer critics growing up. It’s not easy to calm that Monkey Mind, but I have found that changing the script running in my head helps. I focus on the positive and what I want rather than the negative and what I don’t want. I think keeping a Gratitude Journal has really helped me to change my focus, too.
I was not familiar with the expression, but am all too familiar with the voice
Good article!
Thanks, Lorie! Glad you liked the article.
Thanks, Ruth! Glad you like this article. My experience is similar to yours in the difficulty with MM and ways of calming it. I’m not sure mine will ever go away completely. Sometimes still it gets super stirred up. All in all though, it’s quieter than it used to be. One more thing to add to my Gratitude List.
Bonnie,
Great article! Yes, the Monkey Mind how it loves to mess around with us!
I agree, one of the best things I do, is turn my attention elsewhere!
Another things I do is say “is that really true”? As the monkey mind is so often coming from fear based part of the brain and what it says is so often not really true at all. By asking the question, it allows me to find out that it’s mostly half truths, if that and I can move forward.
I talk about the Monkey Mind with my clients in my hypnotherapy practice as they are making changes and the monkey mind wants to keep things status quo!
We have to get awareness of that MM first, then we can get the shifts happening.
I love your articles. Thanks for sharing! Jackie
You’re welcome, Jackie. Glad you liked the article. Thanks for your kind words about my articles. You’re right; MM is very adverse to change.
Sometimes my MM is at warp speed! I love the idea focusing on what lights me up and plan to give this a try.
Thanks!
My MM does warp speed too sometimes, Maureen — around in circles! Glad you like this idea. Let me know how it works for you.