Are you wrestling with some of these big questions?
How can I create more meaning in my life?
What shall I do with the next 5 or 10 years of my life? With the rest of my life?
What am I passionate about?
What will bring me more joy?
I know how you can find answers to these questions. Let me start with a story.
Finding My Answers
In 2002 I had been searching for my calling for more than a decade and was in despair of ever finding it.
I had a wonderful husband, work I enjoyed, and overall a life I loved.
And still something significant was missing.
I had tried countless books, classes, workshops, and processes. All valuable, useful, good resources.
And still no answer for me.
Then I got Clarity coached. I learned about lights on and following your lights.
But still no calling. In fact, I was most lit up about not working. That was not the answer I was looking for!
But something resonated with me so I followed the coaching.
I did my assignments, assignments that lit me up. I took Italian classes, got a funny T-shirt, and followed what I was curious about.
As I learned to discern when I was lights on and lights off, I choose more lights on. I kept following my lights, my energy, and my curiosity as I tried things and explored possibilities.
Along the way, I had more fun, felt more joy, felt more alive. I became much happier and more optimistic and I was more able to see possibilities.
Eventually I realized I wanted to use Clarity’s coaching approach to help other women discover and create lives they loved. This was the calling I’d been seeking.
I found my answers by following my lights.
Since then I’ve used this approach to help many other women discover what calls to them, what they’re passionate about, and what would bring more meaning and joy to their lives.
What Do I Mean By Lights?
Energy is the force or current in you that creates aliveness and vitality. You can’t see energy. You can, however, sense, see, and hear its effects.
Your “lights” are a visible and audible reflection of your personal energy. They tell you what energizes and enlivens you, what makes you more alive, what you love, what you’re passionate about.
When your energy is high, it shows in your physiology: your eyes, your face, your voice, your body. You have a sparkle; an actual twinkle in your eye, a spring in your step, a lilt in your voice, a glow. There’s a visible radiance, aliveness, and vitality. You feel energized and enlivened.
So What?
We think the answers to life’s big questions like what to do with our lives are in our heads. We wait for the giant thunderbolt or some sign from the Universe. We try and try to figure it out.
But the clues we seek are in us, in our energy, in what lights us up! (Our energy is one of the ways the Universe speaks to us.)
Your lights are an internal GPS. This built-in navigation system for living can guide you to more meaning, passion, joy, and vitality.
And who doesn’t want more of all that?!?!
Now What?
What lights you up is a simple and profound tool for guiding your life.
Use this inner GPS to make big and small choices in your life. Day by day, moment by moment, choose what lights you up.
The blue dress or the red dress? This logo for your business or that one? This project or that one? This relationship? This way of self-care? Time with which friend?
Follow your lights to discover and explore possibilities. Which ideas, actions, or paths light you up? Whether it’s a spark of curiosity, a tiny beam of light, or a blinding beacon, follow it.
What do you notice? Where does that lead you? What can you see from there? What’s the next step that lights you up? And the next? And the next?
Along the way, you’ll find more joy, aliveness, and fun. You’ll become more satisfied, fulfilled, and heart connected. And as you are more lit up, you become more likely to connect with and do more of what brings meaning to your life.
The puzzle of figuring out what your Mission in life is will likely take some time. It is not a problem to be solved in a day and night. It is a learning process” writes Richard Bolles, author of What Color is Your Parachute?
If you are willing to notice and follow the inner wisdom of your lights, you will navigate your way to more meaning, joy, and passion. And have fun doing it!
Enjoy!
How does this strike you? What is meaningful to you at this time in your life? How are you finding and living what brings you joy and really matters to you? Please click on Comments below, scroll down, and write away.
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Love this blog Bonnie! Reminds me of Martha Beck’s following your North Star the principle that has helped me the most in recent years. Women spend most of their lives tuning into what lights others up. We worry more about our children, our friends and our significant others find their bliss than we do ourselves. That is until we get to a “certain age” and at last we can begin to grab on to the idea that now it’s okay to follow our own lights. And what an exciting journey! I look forward to reading more from you.
Thks, Dorothy! Yep, I completely agree. As any mom ( or in my case aunt) knows toddlers are really clear about what they want. Sometime between there and adulthood, we lose our connection to that inner guidance system. And then — finally! — many women of a certain age realize it’s their time, their turn. If not now, when?
Hi Bonnie, what if what lights me up is something I am too old for? I’ve been a business woman as well as wife & mother, my whole adult life, and now at 65, the only thing that really lights me up is my family, my closest friends and the thought of being in a small business again. I don’t want to overstep my boundaries with my family and I see my friends often, but still there’s a hole that hasn’t been fulfilled ever since I sold my business in 2000. Surely I’m at an age where starting up a new business is considered to be a bit silly … my husband surely thinks so. He just wants to relax, travel and play golf!!
Hi, Kathy! “What if what lights me up is something I am too old for?” you asked. I’m thinking as I read that line, “Oh dear, what could it be? Child prodigy? Concert pianist?” I was so happy when I read that it was starting a new business. What is silly — to me, at least — is for people to think you’re too old to do that. I think starting new businesses and new careers is going to be a growing trend for women in their 60s, 70s, and maybe even beyond.
If you’re looking for someone to agree that you’re too old, that this idea is silly, you won’t find that in me. If you’re looking for someone to say, “Go for it. Go for what lights you up.” and to cheer you on . . . Well, here I am.
I have started playing the piano again…in my twenties I got busy with living and forgot about how much enjoyment and relaxation there is in playing. I’m trying new outlets to find what joy there is in doing something you enjoy. It’s a good feeling after raising two kids. Hope to improve my proficiency and enjoy playing even more. Music is such a wonderful gift that needs to be shared and it’s taken me a long time to get back to it.
That’s wonderful, Sandra! Doing what we love brings so much joy. Being able to play piano is a gift to yourself and to those who hear your music, too.
What turns on my light? That’s a good question. I love to sew and make things. I love to garden. I love to play with the Grandkids. I am learning photography. I’m a fresh 60 and am definitely looking at what I want to do with the rest of my life. My problem is ADHD. My attention span is limited so finding just one thing is not an answer for me. I think I will have many lights at different times. And I am learning to be OK with that.
Hi, Lynda! Thanks for your comments. It’s great that you know some of what lights you up. Like you, most of us have many things that light us up. And at any point in time, those things can change. What seems to work well is to identify which things are the brightest lights now (the 100 watt bulbs vs the 40 or 60 is one way I speak of it) & to do a mix of those things.
Hi Bonnie
My problem is that I have a very negative husband and I struggle to keep positive about things. He is still working but I have retired and I will be 60 this year. He puts down every idea I come up with almost before I have got all the words from my mouth. He always has a reason why everything is a bad idea. I want to move but for various reasons he says we cant but the real reason is that he doesnt want to. hen I ask why all he says is I just dont want to. He is always shaking his head in disapprovement of me. He wants me just to be like his mother stay indoors doing cooking and cleaning and nothing else and all he wants to do is sit in front of the tv. I cant cope with this sort of life much longer.
Geraldine, that sounds very difficult to live with. I hope you find a way to improve your situation.