We live in unsettling times. Maybe people always have. Perhaps they always will.

In recent years, we’ve seen an economic crash, devastating school shootings, horrifying bombings in public spaces, and so much more.

Many people in their 60s and beyond have had their retirement dreams shattered and struggle now to find desperately needed jobs.

All that in addition to the usual challenges and losses that come with aging!

It’s no wonder many of us are feeling uncertain, afraid, confused, stressed, overwhelmed, or depressed.

Sometimes it does seem as though the sky is falling, Chicken Little!

In this midst of all this, it wouldn’t be surprising if you are focusing more and more on the negative stuff, which unfortunately generates more negativity and leads to additional fear, stress, and overwhelm.

Plus when you become so frightened about the future, it’s natural to either freeze and not take action at all or to panic and take foolish action.

So how can you stop this downward spiral?

Choose joy!

“Choose joy?” you may be sputtering, “How the heck can I choose joy with all the awful stuff that’s going on?”

Well, the stock market goes up and it goes down. Some people do very bad things. The seasons of life include winter as well as spring.

And life is still sweet. Being alive is still a gift and a miracle.    Plus, as a Chinese proverb states, “One joy scatters a hundred griefs.”

In the midst of these trying times, isn’t it all the more important to choose joy?

An article in the Seattle Times put it this way, “One hour of joy can erase many hours of stress.”

Yes, it would be nice if the world behaved just as we wanted it to. And it would be lovely not to have stress at all.

But if the world isn’t behaving as you’d like — and when does it? — and if you do have stress — and who doesn’t? — joy is an amazing antidote.

Joy lifts you up in the moment and its effects linger.

I had a reminder of this a while ago when I spent an evening playing, laughing, and cuddling with my great-nephew, Lucas. At the time he was about 20 months old and completely adorable. I love toddlers so this was a dose of pure joy for me.

Days later just thinking of this time with Lucas made me smile. Those few hours of joy provided great medicine for my heart, spirit, and immune system.

In Your Life

If you’ve had enough of feeling afraid, unhappy, overwhelmed, and stressed by personal, national and world events, let joy scatter your grief and erase your stress.

What brings you joy? What connects you with your love for life? Spend more time doing that. Take at least an hour a week (more time is even better!) to do something for no other reason than the sheer joy of it.

Joy will nourish and nurture you. You’ll feel better and you’ll then be able to see and think more clearly, make better choices for yourself, and take action that serves your best interests.

You may be surprised by how much difference a little joy can make!

Enjoy!

What About You?

What brings you joy? How do you erase your stress? Tell us in Comments below.

Want 76% more from Social Security?

In  Your Retirement Checklist by the Decade,  well known financial advisor Suze Orman recommends you “play the waiting game.” The longer you wait the bigger your benefit will be.

If you wait till full retirement age (between 66 and 67 depending on when you were born), to start taking your SS benefits, your check will be 25-30% higher than if you start at 62.

Wait till 70 and your benefit will be 76% higher than at 62.

Orman says you could take the benefit early and invest the money but there’s plenty of risk involved in getting those returns. On the other hand, Social Security’s benefits for delaying are 100% guaranteed. Plus the higher payouts are adjusted for inflation once you start to take the benefits which can really boost your income later in life, when you need it most.

I am not offering financial advice here. I am suggesting that that if you haven’t already done so, it’s worth taking the time to check out your Social Security options and see what’s best for you. See  Why You Want to Become a Social Security Genius  for resources to help you do this.

Take a few minutes and treat yourself. Watch this video of  4 year old Jonathan conducting Beethoven. I think he will amaze and amuse you. Plus Jonathan is a fabulous example of what happens when you do what lights you up.

It was a clear, sunny, spectacular afternoon in January. The kind of day that had been all too rare for weeks in the Pacific Northwest.

As usual, I had a list of things to get done that day. Denny, my husband, was hard at work on three client projects.

Seize the Moment

But that day, we decided to seize the moment.

We ditched all the obligations, chores, and tasks and allowed ourselves to take a “beauty break.” Grabbing coats, scarves, gloves, mud boots, and a camera, we headed out for a drive in nature’s beauty.

Just 10 Minutes Away

Snow glistened on Mount Baker in the background. The winter red of blueberry bushes carpeted the foreground. Red barns dotted the landscape. Blue water sparkled in the flooded fields.

We sat by a field with dozens of trumpeter swans. Rolling down the car window and hearing their honking cacophony, I realized why they were named “trumpeters.” Beautiful as they are, the sound is incongruous and it made me laugh out loud.

We watched a field full of snow geese for 15 minutes or so. Then magically and magnificently, they flushed. Nearly instantaneously hundreds of birds flew into the sky, shimmering as the sun caught their white bodies.

We didn’t know why they had suddenly risen from the ground until we saw the eagle at the back of the pack.

All this happening so close over our heads we were lucky not to have had bird droppings fall on us!

Time Best Spent

After an hour or two of this beauty break, I felt deeply restored, filled to overflowing with joy and well-being.

It would have been easy for me to have missed this, to have stayed at life’s tasks and missed life’s beauty. I’m so glad I chose a beauty break instead.

What about you?

What beauty speaks to you? Are you making time to pay attention to it? To soak it in?

Taking time to savor the beauty around and near you is one of the best ways of feeding yourself and creating joy in your life. I hope you take  these kind of “beauty breaks” often!

“What do I do with all the ‘stuff’ I’ve accumulated?”

“How do I downsize my home given my attachment to my belongings?”

Recently there’s been a lot of conversation in the Savoring Your Sixties’ community about these questions.

You can read more about that conversation and get  8 Great Tips for Downsizing after 60 here.

For a completely different perspective on “things,”  look at the  Portraits of Refugees Posing with Their Most Valued Possessions.

These portraits and their captions tell of women, men, and children forced to flee their countries and their homes, able to take only what they could wear or carry in their hands.

In these dire (and unimaginable to most of us) circumstances, they were asked what one thing was most precious to them. The photographer poignantly captured their responses.

I share this because I was so moved and humbled by these portraits. They awakened compassion in me. They put into perspective how minor my struggles are. They helped me to be grateful for all the abundance I have, abundance that is easy to take for granted in the part of the world in which I live.

I hope you are touched by these photos too. No need to make yourself feel bad or wrong about your own abundance or any struggle you have with letting go of your things. Just allow your heart to be touched by the people in these portraits.

You’ve retired or been laid off.

Someone has died.

You’re downsizing your home or moving to a new place.

You or someone you love is ill.

You’re bored with your life and longing for something new and different but don’t know what.

These and other life changes keep happening, no matter how old you are.

And no matter how many changes you’ve been through, these transitions can still be bumpy and difficult.

Even after you’ve made your way through the ending. Dealt with your feelings. Mourned. Grieved. Let go of what was, what you lost.

Even after all that, it’s still it’s easy to get caught in the “in between” of a life transition. Instead of calmly or excitedly moving forward to your next chapter in life, you get stuck, confused, and lost.

Difficult as it can be, this “in between” time is a natural and normal part of transitions and you can learn to navigate it with less trauma and more ease.

What’s Going on?

A life transition is a passage from one phase, state or stage to another. Over the course of your life you experience many transitions, each one a process of something ending, a time “in between”, and then a new beginning.

The ending can be triggered by events such as job loss, retirement, illness, death, divorce, and so on.

Endings can also be initiated by a state of mind, by something inside us shifting, changing, falling away, or coming apart.

Eventually we find our way to a new beginning.

Beginnings can take many forms: new relationships, projects, places, work, goals, passions, feelings, or sense of self.

In between the ending and the new beginning is a gap, a space between what was and what will be.

The In-Between

In his classic book Transitions, William Bridges calls this the Neutral Zone. Susanne Braun Levine, author of  Inventing the Rest of Our Lives calls it the Fertile Void.

Whatever you call it, it is an important and often challenging phase of transition.

In our culture, the process of transition — ending, in between, new beginning — is seldom recognized or valued. This makes it harder to navigate our way through what is a natural, normal process. We think that we (and others) should just “get on with it!”

In the fall, a Japanese maple sheds its lacy leaves. Nothing you do will make new leaves appear before their time in the spring. So it is with our life transitions.

They have their seasons and their phases.

You can’t force yourself to be done grieving.

You can’t will yourself to know what you want next.

You can’t make yourself stop feeling empty or confused.

What you can do is live your way through the transitions.

The Value of  the In Between

The “in between” time seems to be the least understood part of transition. The pain of endings may be sharper but at least we expect pain with a loss. The “in between” is more surprising.

When a chapter of your life is ending (whether by choice or circumstance), where the heck is the new chapter?

Although something stirs in you to do something new, something different with your life, the next chapter not only has not begun, sometimes you don’t even know what you want the next chapter to be!

Welcome to the “in between” time, the Neutral Zone, the Fertile Void.

Disturbing, frightening, and frustrating as it may be, there is much to be gained here. It’s the chaos from which new beginnings will emerge and the foundation for self-renewal.

This Fertile Void offers:

 A pause to listen to your life, to take stock, to see what really matters to you now.

A precious chance to nurture yourself and to explore new possibilities.

A time to re-evaluate and make new choices.

An opportunity to connect more deeply with your internal GPS that will guide you to your passions, heart’s desires and true life path.

Your life can be transformed during this time.

Still, many of us struggle with the amorphous, empty, unsettled nature of the Neutral Zone. And when you don’t realize that what you’re experiencing is a normal, natural part of transition the struggle deepens.

7 Ways to Ease Through and Make the Most of Your In Between Time

1. Remember this is a natural part of transition.

Feeling stuck, confused, lost, and uncertain is normal here. And although it may seem never-ending, it is temporary.

2.  Surrender.

Stop resisting or struggling to escape it. Accept it and do your best to settle into the experience.

3. Give yourself a regular time and place to be alone.

Take forty-five minutes with a cup of coffee before the rest of your household wakes up, a quiet walk after lunch, or whatever else will get you away from your everyday distractions so you can tune into your inner guidance.

4. Make extreme self-care a priority.

Be kind, gentle, and nurturing towards yourself (get a massage, walk on the beach, take a hot bath, whatever works for you).

5. Discover what you really want.

Notice what you’re curious about, what energizes you, what resonates with you and follow those clues. Nurture even a tiny flicker of interest. Ignore the voice that says your dreams are silly, impossible, or selfish.

6. Savor the present moment.

There will be a new chapter in your life eventually. In the meantime, don’t miss what’s in front of you. What joy, beauty, love is right here right now?

7.  Take a few days away.

Okay, women, pick yourselves up off the floor! If this idea shocked you and seems impossible, all the more reason for it.

Create a quiet, simple time for yourself without books, magazines, TV, computers, smart phones, agenda, schedule or any of your usual busyness.

Just you (and perhaps your journal) living in the moment, connecting with yourself, and reflecting on your life, this transition, and what matters to you.

As Suzanne Braun Levine writes,

“The Fertile Void is the long, slow deep breath — the gathering in of strength — that precedes a daring leap into the unknown.”

You are sowing the seeds for a wonderful next chapter in your life.

Enjoy!

What About You?

What life transition are you in the midst of now? How’s it going? Tell us in Comments below.

Most of us already have or at some point will be clearing out our parents’ homes or downsizing our own homes. It’s not easy!

“Recently I got an email from a woman who is downsizing to a smaller home. She says she is “too sentimental” and finding it very difficult to part with some items, even though she knows they’re silly things and that she can’t take them all with her to a smaller home. She asks ‘How do I overcome this emotional roadblock so I can part with things?’”

When I posted the above paragraph on  Savoring Your Sixties’ page on Facebook  and asked what advice people had for this woman, it struck quite a chord. The responses flooded in.

Do you want or need to downsize?

If you’re struggling with getting rid of “stuff” now or if you may be in the future, read this compilation of excellent (and sometimes contradictory) advice from the marvelous members of Savoring Your Sixties community:

1. Give it away

“Lovingly find the pieces new homes with family, friends, or a charity.”

“Give items to people who will enjoy them.”

“Think in terms of giving the item a new life.”

“If there are people she loves or would like to thank for kindnesses over the years, giving some of the objects to them might make it less difficult.”

“Share them with friends. I knew a woman who took cookies to friends’ houses on her beautiful china plates. She didn’t want to sell them, but could share them with friends.”

“Maybe some people in her family would want things so she could keep them in the family.”

“I find it easier to get rid of stuff if it is going to someone who will appreciate it, someone who will put it to good use. Not just throwing it out, but in a way, recycling it.”

2. Keep it

“Take the stuff anyway, no matter if it’s silly. Sentimental is more important.”

“Keep it and enjoy it. Do not listen to anyone else, only your own heart. “

“Forget it and stay where you are.”

“If she ‘cleans house’ too vigorously, she will always regret it and the items she left behind will always weigh heavily on her heart.”

“Those who say ‘just get rid of the stuff’ are either less sentimental by nature or they don’t understand that these objects, among other things, are keys to the memories we don’t want to lose. As we grow older, we fear our memories will escape us. This is much, much more painful and complex to do than many realize.”

“Maybe it’s necessary to downsize due to lack of space, but I understand her conflict. Perhaps temporary storage, until she knows she can really part with specific items.”

“Do what makes you live in peace. Keep your stuff if you want!”

3. Take pictures

“One by one, sit with each item, remember everything about it; and take a picture of it.”

“Make a scrapbook of her treasured items, creating a family history of them that can be shared with other family members.”

“Take pictures and make a memory book with the pictures, writing down any stories about the object and why it’s precious.”

“Display the photo album so the items are where you can see them, not just in your past.”

“I’ve even heard of cutting a small part cut out a wedding gown and framing it.”

4. It’s Just Stuff

“The feelings inside that you have accumulated are of the greatest value and not material things.”

“It is just stuff. I am getting rid of a lot of my own ‘treasures.’ I am selling them and going on vacation!”

“If she takes her stuff she can’t part with, she will (1) quickly realize she doesn’t have room for it and (2) wind up getting rid of it anyway.”

5. Let it go

“Take a deep breath and let it go.”

“Once you let it go, it is a wonderful feeling of freedom. “

“Imagine your life free of clutter and designed exactly to suit you and your life now, not ten or twenty years ago.”

“We sold our house of 35years and moved to a small apartment. We let go of most of the stuff. It’s so freeing. Less to manage and worry about. Go for it!!! Life’s too short to manage stuff!”

“Our things have emotional energy. By acknowledging and letting go of my ‘stuff’’ I was also able to open up space in my life for new adventures to enter. I immediately felt (and feel) lighter and more open to possibilities. Now I continue to cull my things, focusing on the few things I absolutely love and allow the rest to pass through my life. I am also more mindful of my purchases. It’s all about creating space physically, emotionally and spiritually.”

“When I lost my home to foreclosure, my life was edited down to 8 large boxes which now sit in a family member’s basement. I rarely think of anything in those boxes other than the photographs. Much of my stuff held ‘the old’ and I wanted to move forward in ‘the new.’”

“Perhaps just sitting with each item, remembering all the good things about it and then thanking it for giving you the memories and experience. This could help to let go of the attachment, while first acknowledging the attachment/the emotional connection. It’s not silly. It’s just us as human beings. I think when we can give ourselves permission to say all we need to say about it and know it has served us well right up until now, it’s easier to let go.”

“Keep reminding ourselves that we are making space for other things in our lives when we let go of things we’ve had a long time. It may not be a physical thing we are making room for, but something else-energetically-is available in the clearing out!”

6. Take your time

“For a few years I had thought about moving closer to my family and I knew it would be a big downsize. It was hard to part with many items. I started looking at everything with a culling eye. There were several “cull” sessions in each room and closet. Each session became a bit easier.”

“The trick is to take time until you can wrap your brain around living with less.”

“Take your time and evaluate what this stuff really means to you and those who you will leave it to when you are gone.”

“Slowly go through everything piece by piece. Some of my most sentimental things are tiny and take up no significant space. I have found after a few years of keeping certain things I could release them to good places.”

7. Don’t burden your children with it

“I do not want my children to have to go through all the stuff I have accumulated over my lifetime. Pictures of these things are good enough to remember them by.”

“My kids don’t want my ‘treasures’ and I don’t want them to have to deal with it after I’m gone. There are one or two things that I will make sure get passed down, but I will make sure my kids know why they are important to our family history.”

8. Get help

“Have someone help her when it gets too rough, someone not invested in her sentiment.”

“Hire an organizer. They are geared to be helpful in this important area of downsizing and they can make the transition so much easier.”

“Consider hiring a senior move manager because they can guide her (gently) through the process, without judging her decisions.”

“Get a loving support person to work with through the process and ask, ‘What is this adding to your life? Is it positive or negative?’”

My thanks to the wonderful folks in  Savoring Your Sixties Facebook community  who shared their advice, experiences, and perspective on this topic.

What about you?

Are you wanting or needing to downsize? What have you done about letting go of stuff? Tell us in Comments below.

Is there anyone out there who doesn’t have at least some fear about growing older?

Savoring Your Sixties’ primary focus is on the positive, the inspirational, and the upbeat.

Every once in a while, though, I like to acknowledge and make space here for the other stuff. The stuff that is not so uplifting and exciting and fun.

Like fear.

Some of us may hide it better (perhaps even from ourselves) and I think all of us have at least a bit of fear as we age. And some of us have a great deal of it!

In  The Top 6 Fears of Women Over 60,  Margaret Manning names these fears:

Fear of Being Alone

Fear of a Failing Mind

Fear of Death

Fear of Being Invisible

Fear of Fading Beauty

Fear of Lack

Whew, that’s quite a list!  It could be scary just to read it!

Manning’s  The Top 6 Fears of Women Over 60  elaborates on these fears and offers some suggestions for handling them.

Here, for today, I want to say:

1) If you’re afraid of aging you are definitely not alone.

2) It’s okay to admit you’re afraid.

3) You don’t have to stay stuck in or get taken over by or be consumed by your fears.

What about you?

What are you afraid of? What are you doing to confront, ease, and deal with your fears?  Please share with us in Comments below.

Treat yourself to 2 ½ minutes of delight – a spunky, 88 year young woman dancing to Dion and the Belmonts.

Turn up the volume, click the full screen button on the bottom right of the player so you get a better view, and enjoy.

P.S. Sorry if her last line is offensive to you but I thought this video was so much fun it was worth sharing in spite of her “spicy” language (which some people think is the best part ).

P.P.S. I hope I’m still dancing like this at her age. How about you?