Do you realize the critical importance of taking care of yourself?
If so, your next question might be “What do I do to take care of myself?” (If not, please read Healthy Selfishness.)
There is a long list of “shoulds” for self-care –- exercise, eat healthy, meditate, and so on.
While all of these can be good for you, I recommend a different approach to self-care.
To get the most impact and the best refueling from your self-care time, do something that “lights you up.” Choose an activity that energizes, delights, soothes, or nurtures you.
My clients’ “lights on” activities have included getting a massage, singing karaoke, reading trash magazines, having dinner with friends, practicing yoga, taking a ten minute walk in nature, and planning a vacation to a favorite place.
The possibilities are endless and each person’s “lights on” list is different.
In Your Life
What energizes, enlivens delights, soothes, or nurtures you?
Take a moment to identify some things you love to do. Perhaps those things you never make time to enjoy. Get these ideas out of your head and onto paper.
Better yet, add some of these to the top – yes, the top – of your to-do list — and then do some of them!
Notice how your energy increases when you take a little bit of time to do something just for yourself, something that lights you up.
So go ahead and be “selfish” now and then.
Put yourself at the top of your to do list.
Healthy selfishness just may be the best thing you can do for yourself, the people around you, and the world.
Enjoy!
How are you doing with healthy selfishness? Click on Comments, scroll down to the form, and write away.
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I have discovered that the takers in my world aren’t exactly delighted to discover that I’m taking time for myself! I am an artist so what lights me up is related to learning more about drawing, moving into colored pencil art, and something called art journals — which are just plain fun!
In that I’m lucky I think since the things that light me up are also things that keep my brain engaged and active.
It occurred to me that the time has come to envision the future I want to live in going forward. And so, I’ve also been spending time figuring out what I want and working on achievable goals to help me get there. Because what lights me is what I want to do, the way I want to spend my life. I find that moving along that path, knowing that I’m working toward realizing my own goals, makes me hopeful and excited for the future in a way I haven’t been for quite a while.
Yep, you’re right. Not everyone will be thrilled with you taking care of yourself. And good for you for not letting that stop you. And how wonderful that you already know a great deal about what lights you up.
“Because what lights me is what I want to do, the way I want to spend my life. I find that moving along that path, knowing that I’m working toward realizing my own goals, makes me hopeful and excited for the future in a way I haven’t been for quite a while”
I love this! My work is helping women find and follow what lights them up & I’m delighted to hear you say that doing that for yourself has made you hopeful and excited about your future. Yes!
Bonnie,
Thank you so much for having this web site. I turned 60 at the end of December.
Didn’t know why I was feeling so low. This was the only birthday I was really down and searching and not knowing just why. I enjoy reading your blog and have tried to take some action in my life. I have two adult sons living at home with me with substance abuse issues. While this last few months have been better, we have been through the ringer the last ten or more years. Both are in rehab now and trying to get on a better path so we are helping without enableing as much as possible. I’ve just felt burnt out for so long and then the big 60! I don’t feel 60 in my mind but sure do in my knees and joints. I’m taking your advice and trying to start walking and a better diet.
Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge and time. It has made me see things in a better light!
Bless You!
Debby
Dear Debby,
You are most welcome! Thank you for letting me know this site helped you. I hope you’ll come back often and also join us on Facebook at http://www.savoringyoursixties.com/facebook for more conversation, community, and support.
I struggled with turning 60, too, as you may have read. With that and your sons’ abuse issues — well, that’s a lot to deal with. I’m glad you’re taking steps to take better care of yourself. Keep it up!
Warmly,
Bonnie