Turning 60 — A Message from Me to You

by Bonnie

Since you’ve found your way to this blog, you’re likely a woman in the vicinity of 60.

The Downside

Perhaps you’re feeling apprehensive, troubled, or concerned about being 60. You might feel stuck in a life that’s no longer exciting to you and not seeing a future to really look forward to.

woman pulling hair out

 Sixty can be a bit jarring. There’s something about that number.

 I understand.

Sixty was the first time I was ever bothered about my age. I even had a few moments wondering if I could hide or lie about my age. My reaction shocked me.

I thought 60 was old and I did not want to be old. Nor did I want anyone else to think I was old.

Our culture’s messages are so negative about aging. Especially for women. It’s not surprising that we fear becoming old, invisible, cast aside, unwanted, marginalized.

But life isn’t over at 60.

The best is not behind you.

I’m not saying la la, no problem, everything is great, you’re going to live forever, nothing will change.
 
There is inner work to be done, stuff to face and deal with. There are changes ahead that may be challenging.

And there’s hope and possibility.

You can still have peace of mind, joy, and purpose. You can still live the full, wonderful life you desire.

If this appeals to you, I hope you’ll stick around and become part of this village of women who want to create lives they love in their 60s and beyond.

What about you? Click on Comments below, scroll down, and write away. Tell us about your experience of approaching or turning 60.

Like this article? You can get more articles like this with a complimentary subscription to the Savoring Your Sixties e-zine. Just put your name and email in the form below and click Subscribe!






Leave a Comment

{ 84 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Bonnie February 7, 2013 at 3:47 pm

Hi, Betty, and welcome! Thanks for your kind words about what I’m doing here at Savoring Your Sixties. You made me laugh saying your mom got your birth year wrong. I haven’t heard that one before. :)

2 Roseann July 21, 2013 at 5:09 pm

I’m feeling sad about turning 60.
When my 50th birthday approached, I felt amazing, confident, I looked great, with no surgical help, dating someone 17 years younger, great job, owned a nice home, owned a Harley, I felt on top of the world….then…my life has changed over the past 9 1/2 years, I moved back in with my ex, I have my place on the market, I loved ‘my space’, beautifully decorated…I feel peace when I walk in there and angst when getting it ready for a real estate showing…
There’s a part of me I miss, the confident person I was earlier in my 50s,
I have wonderful sons, daughter in laws, grandchildren, but still I feel I’m missing something…I know people change over the years, but not this much, now I work, I come home, I clean, cook, I don’t feel the ‘zest’ or excitement I used to have..I feel like I’m going through the motions..I’m starting to feel old…I have good days and bad days…the bad days are I feel old…
I have told myself I am not going into my 60s (January 2014) with these feelings…but I don’t know were to start…I’ve searched the web and books for answers, something to give me an aha to the way I need to get myself back on track, but theres nothing but, go for walks, read books, learn a new language…make new friends, drive a different way to work…I need to dig deeper than that…..I’m scared that these feelings won’t go away and I’ll be 80 years old thinking the same way and life is passing me by.

3 Judy July 21, 2013 at 8:45 pm

Roseanne, been there and done that….. Just turned 60 back in February and I will tell you the truth. Approaching 60 was the worst feeling. I too felt great at 50. Fifty never bothered me a bit. But, as I began to think of turning 60, I began dreading it and feeling old. This started a couple months before my birthday. Then the big day came and went and I got to tell you…it’s just a number. I don’t even think about it much any more. I realized how lucky I am to be in relatively good health..no serious problems and I am reminded how good The Lord has been to me. He brought me this far and he will take me the rest of the way… Sounds like you have a wonderful family. Maybe you need a hobby. I like photography. And I enjoy my computer / Facebook and catching up with old friends. I also enjoy reading and Bible study. I have some great church friends. Find something you enjoy and jump right into it and count yourself lucky to have come this far. You have a lot more years to shine!!

4 Bonnie July 22, 2013 at 8:18 pm

Hi, Roseann!

I’m sorry you’re feeling sad about turning 60. It sounds like you’ve had some tough stuff to deal with in your 50s and I see how that could make it tough to look forward to your 60s.

You say you’re “going through the motions” without “zest. Could there be something physical going on? Might you be depressed? This might be worth checking out first. Then, if you’re still stuck and not making progress on your own, you might consider hiring a coach or seeing a counselor to help you “dig deeper.”

Wishing you all the best!

Warmly,
Bonnie

5 Bonnie July 22, 2013 at 8:20 pm

Judy, thanks so much for your comments here. I hope Roseann sees them. I’m glad you made it through the 60s knothole and realize how blessed you are. “You have a lot more years to shine.” Love that!

6 blog-welt.com August 6, 2013 at 11:58 am

Howdy! This is my first visit to your blog! We are
a collection of volunteers and starting a new initiative
in a community in the same niche. Your blog provided
us valuable information to work on. You have done
a marvellous job!

7 Bonnie August 6, 2013 at 7:47 pm

Thanks! Glad you liked it.

8 cynthia August 23, 2013 at 2:32 am

Hi Bonnie,Im Cynthia ! thankyou for your shared thoughts to us young ladies,well i would like to think im still very young,but coming back to your thought,HOW TRUE !! i will be sixty the 17th October of this year and yes must agree with you,I am faced with the very same stuff you mention,like ooowh im getting old and what am i gona do ,since Im a divorcee and have not met anyone yet,my childrens all married and out of the house,so I do agree theres so many questions,many challenges that im facing and to be honest it does get the better of me most of the time.Thankyou once again for all the beautiful messages i’ve just read from all the young ladies !!! Cynthia

9 Bonnie August 23, 2013 at 9:34 am

Hi, Cynthia! You’re welcome and thank you for your kind words about this site. Happy Early Birthday to you! What are you doing to celebrate this occasion?

10 cynthia August 26, 2013 at 12:57 am

hi Bonnie,thankyou so much for your response,I dont have anything planned but I believe it will be the best ever celebration!! Will chat to you some more a bit later regarding this special day! have a blessed one.

11 Bonnie August 26, 2013 at 9:32 am

Thanks, Cynthia. I look forward to hearing more later.

12 Pam November 9, 2013 at 5:43 am

Hello,
I just subscribed…so glad there is a place where turning 60 (which I will be doing this November 12) has some guidelines attached to it. It is definitely a challenge to think about, especially being on my own. My two children are grown; one is married & the other will be married soon. We once shared a very close relationship & now that has changed as well. Their Dad passed away early in their lives (10 years ago) and having to be both mother and father was a job that was very difficult but my son and my daughter always let me know how much they appreciated everything I did.
Now, I am on the sidelines of their lives…I am not their priority any longer. A distance has developed with both, but especially with my daughter.
Turning 60 is a gift; I am alive & I am healthy of which I am very grateful. It is also confusing, scary, nerve-wracking, lonely and very transformational, as if I am being called to totally release everything I have known and been in the pasl. If one does not live or share a relationship with a spouse or significant other, it can be isolating.
I look forward to being part of this community and I hope those of you out there that have experienced what I am experiencing right now will share some words of wisdom.
Blessings to all,
Pam

13 Bonnie November 11, 2013 at 5:22 pm

Hello, Pam, and welcome! An early Happy Birthday to you!

Yes, 60 can be challenging with the losses, the changes in relationships, and the shifts inside us as well as in our bodies. And I see that it’s easier to face some of this if you have a good primary relationship. Still, alone or in partnership, I do see many women who love their 60s and I hope you’ll be one of them. Recognizing the gifts you have in being alive and healthy is a great start!

All the best to you,
Bonnie

P.S. If you haven’t already done so, you might like to join us at http://www.savoringyoursixties.com/facebook

14 cynthia flanagan November 12, 2013 at 4:37 am

hi Bonnie,i could not let this moment pass,without letting you know about my 60th birthday party.If you will remember I had shared with you a bit of my background and that I did not want to spend money and time on people who did not appreciate me,Well matter of fact,my eldest daughter and her husband insisted we go ahead with a celebration.We booked a venue,( oakdale club ) I had the privilege of inviting 60 people as my children offered to pay the bill for me,this amount includes some of the people in my family that was real nasty with me.Allow me to also mention throughout my difficult times with relationships I managed to keep my calm and not let anyone unsettle who I am as a woman also as a believer.I will always try and remember a scripture in the bible which has come to mean so much to me and I quote …GREAT PEACE HAVE THEY WHICH LOVE THY LAW AND NOTHING SHALL OFFEND THEM,this scripture carries so much weight in the spiritual realm ,it also comes with a strong confirmation from God that he will be with us no matter what we face in life.All the blessings that I had received from 16th Oct up till Sunday 10/11/2013.Apart from these gifts I happen to celebrate my birthday with two party’s one for all friends and family and one for all my nephew and nieces.Now is this just not the way God works..he blesses us even though we face real trying times.Coming back to broken relationships in my family,Praise God!! without me having to prove my sincerity in the matter at hand,relationships have been restored thats been shattered for a couple of years,another thought that struck me so forcefully is the fact that God at times want us to step back and see how he will vindicate any situation we face.So indeed I had a Wonderful 60th birthday celebration,that Im faced with the really of getting on in years is a fact,the up side of all this is that the Best could still be awaiting me as a single divorced woman.Thankyou for taking the time to read my mail.Thankyou also to everyone on this site that makes reading everyones comment including yours such a wonderful journey. Cynthia

15 Kathie November 12, 2013 at 4:46 am

Good for you, Cynthia! I turned 60 in February. I wasn’t sure how I would feel either. I have been married for 30 years, being separated for the last 3. I am in a different job position where I work and, I just bought the condo I had been leasing this past August. I, too, felt very alone & hated the thought of being a “single” woman again, especially at THIS age!! BUT………..through the help & support of my 2 sons & best friend, all I can say is “I’ve come a LONG way, baby!”……I am embracing my 60′s and look at it as starting a new, wonderful chapter in my life. I have become stronger and more independent than I ever, ever imagined I could be! So, hold your head high, take a good look at the woman you have become because of all the trials & tribulations you have experienced over the years & rejoice!! The best IS yet to come!!

16 Bonnie November 12, 2013 at 10:55 am

Cynthia, what great news! Thanks for letting me know that your birthday celebration turned out to be a wonderful one. I’m very glad for you.

17 Bonnie November 12, 2013 at 10:57 am

Thank you, Katie, for this exuberant, inspiring message! It’s great to hear you’re doing so well after some tough times. Good for you!

18 Annemarie December 1, 2013 at 8:10 pm

I turned 60 years in August 2013. It was a shock . I had been dreading it for a while. When I turned 50 , I made a huge plunge. I got separated, divorced and remarried. At first I thought it was the worst thing I had done but as they years moved by it became so much better. I settled into my new life, my new country and my new husband. I loved the change. My only regret is that I was unable to see my children and grandchildren as they lived so far away. I thank God every day for my reasonably good health. The last 10 years have been the best and I want to do everything within my power to try and leave it the same.

19 Bonnie December 2, 2013 at 1:04 pm

Annemarie, thanks for your comments here. I hear you about dreading 60. I hope you’ll soon find it really IS just a number. How wonderful that the changes you made at 50 turned out so well!

20 Jackie C January 22, 2014 at 4:25 pm

I’m turning sixty on January 31st, actually next Friday…and I’m feeling really depressed.. I have been getting very sick, more aches and pains than ever, fever, groin pain, nauseated, headaches, being forgetful, not wanting to do anything and crying… etc etc…I’m thinking its because I am turning 60. I hope this is a short thing happening and it will pass…I have my own place, bought a condo a few years ago, but I have also been alone without a partner for like 18yrs, and have no desire to ever be with a man. My daughter and her hubby and baby girl just moved in with me last April, and I’m still feeling like this…not liking anything about myself lately.

21 Joyce January 24, 2014 at 5:08 am

I came across this site and just had to submit my thoughts. I turned the big 60 in June of 2013 and it was really ok. I arranged my own gathering because I was selective in my invitations. I have been looking back at my life and have to say that it has gotten easier. I have raised two daughters and have one grandchild who stays overnight every Friday night with us. Like most of you I had experienced many sad times in my life with the loss of parents and two brothers at the young age of 52 so I tell you that life is precious.

I am more at peace these days and I feel more comfortable to say how I feel. My husband recently wanted to purchase me a brand new car and the ‘old’ me would not allow that but the ‘new’ me said “oh yeah, and make it a happy blue colour”.

I have let my hair go gray this year and this turned our really well. I like it and it’s all about me these days. LOL I have arthritis and glaucoma but these are very manageable. Heck, I am cruising and crossing things off my bucket list. Swam with the dolphins with my granddaughter last month and that was absolutely amazing. Zip lining was great and parasailing was magnificent. So many things to enjoy and I want to try them all before my little body is not so co-operative.

I am still working part time because I enjoy the time out of the house. It also helps to pay for some of these extra activities my husband and I enjoy. He has been retired for 7 years now and I call him the “kept man”. I don’t know how things will be when I am 70 or 80 (hoping to get there) so I will concentrate on the here and now.

22 Bonnie January 24, 2014 at 4:13 pm

Hi, Jackie! Happy Almost Birthday! I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling so much. It could be something more than just turning 60 going on. Given what you’ve said, I’m thinking it might be good for you to see your doctor or a mental health professional. Please take good care of yourself and let me know how you’re doing. You’re welcome to email me if you prefer.

23 Bonnie January 24, 2014 at 4:17 pm

What a wonderful story, Joyce! Reading what you wrote made me smile. Thanks for inspiring us about how great life can be after 60. Love your attitude and what you’re doing!

24 DANA BEHM February 15, 2014 at 1:32 pm

I am 60!! It doesn’t bother me, but i don’t know how to identify my self anymore. I certainly don’t feel like I am 60 but now what. I had been a single mother and raised my children for many years, put myself through nursing school and am now very alone feeling. I am so glad that my kids are all on their own and building on their families and careers. But what do I do now? I planned marrying( but now divorced), having kids (4) and becoming a nurse ( now for 21 years). But I never made any plans for later in life and now here I am !! I struggling with not feeling depressed and down, but I just can’t figure out what to do? I hope I can get some imspiration from you and your readers!

25 Bonnie February 15, 2014 at 3:00 pm

Hi, Dana! Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experiences here. Not knowing how to identify yourself. Not having made plans for later in life. Struggling with your feelings. Not knowing what to do. Many women in the neighborhood of 60 can relate to all of that. You are definitely not alone!

I hope you’ll find some inspiration here. You might also want to join us on http://www.savoringyoursixties.com/facebook if you haven’t already done so.

26 Linda March 5, 2014 at 5:57 pm

I to have had a hard time dealing with turning 60, it just sounds so old. Fifty was fabulous, but will 60 be as great ? I still look pretty young and no one believes I’m really 60 which is great. Trying to deal with things the best I can and keeping it positive.

27 Kathie March 6, 2014 at 4:27 am

Hi Bonnie, I celebrated my 61st birthday last month. After going through a rough, personal issue (30 year marriage fell apart), I had made up my mind that upon turning 60, my sixties would turn out to be some of the best years of my life. I entered the “scary” online dating world, and met some nice men. In November of last year, I went on a breakfast date with a 63 year old widower. We hit it off right away, and now, 4 months later, we are still dating (exclusively!) and having a ball! We are even going on a cruise to Bermuda the 1st week of May! Did I EVER think I could find happiness again…..especially at MY AGE……NO!!!! But, I did. I became confident, independent and just tried to be myself. I embraced my 60′s with a new, positive attitude and treasure each & every day. We come into this new decade of life with a lot of experience & knowledge and we STILL have a lot to offer! So ladies, don’t despair………..this could be the best time of your life!

Kathie

28 Bonnie March 7, 2014 at 3:00 pm

I hear you, Linda. I loved my 50s and thought 60 sounded old (and sometimes it still does!) Dealing with it as best you can and being positive about it — that’s a good way to go. All the best to you!

29 Bonnie March 7, 2014 at 3:02 pm

I love this, Kathie! What a great story! Thanks so much for sharing it with us.

30 shawn April 11, 2014 at 2:29 pm

I am turning 60 this year. Not upset at the thought, just conflicted. I don’t know if I should feel the need to wind down or continue to put effort into a working career. I can’t find anyone to talk to because my friends just want to “retire” — whatever that means. They sure don’t seem to think much about it. Is it really time to move to a next “chapter”?

31 Bonnie April 12, 2014 at 8:37 am

Hi, Shawn! I think the time to move on to the next chapter is different for each of us. It’s not so much what “should” you do as what do you want to do.

32 Elaine Coleman April 22, 2014 at 9:12 am

Never got over 60. I’m ashamed, embarrassed and I do t know what else. No other age has bothered me but 60. Can’t get past it.

33 Kathie April 22, 2014 at 11:16 am

Hi Elaine, I am so sorry to hear that you feel that way. Why do you feel ashamed & embarrassed? First of all, 60 is JUST a number!!!! Do you realize (unfortunately) how many women don’t even MAKE IT to this age! This is surely an accomplishment in itself!!!! Secondly, think of all the experiences in life & knowledge that you have gained over the years that you can share with other women in our age group and younger. Look in that mirror and see the strong, beautiful woman that you have become. We have worked hard & long to get to this point in our life and you should be proud of that fact. Please try to concentrate on the positive side of your sixties and know that you are entering a wonderful, new decade that you should be celebrating! I am 61 and darn proud of it…………you should feel the same about turning 60! Hold your head high & embrace what life has to offer! We are truly lucky to be here!

34 Bonnie April 23, 2014 at 9:16 am

Elaine, I’m sorry to hear you can’t get over 60. I know that certain circumstances as well as some women’s beliefs about themselves can make this time especially difficult. If it’s been a while since you’ve crossed that threshold perhaps it’s time to get some professional help in dealing with this. It would be so sad for you to spend your life stuck in this ashamed and embarrassed place.

Kathie, thanks for reaching out to Elaine and sharing your perspective and experience on this.

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