Wisdom Gained from a Child’s Death

by Bonnie

lessons from a child's deathIsabelle Allende has lived every mother’s nightmare – her beloved child died.

Somehow from the deep pain of that Allende found great wisdom, wisdom I found so touching I wanted to share it with you.

“The pain of losing my child was a cleansing experience. I had to throw overboard all excess baggage and keep only what is essential. Because of Paula, I don’t cling to anything anymore.

Now I like to give much more than to receive. I am happier when I love than when I am loved. I adore my husband, my son, my grandchildren, my mother, my dog, and frankly I don’t know if they even like me. But who cares? Loving them is my joy.

Give, give, give — what is the point of having experience, knowledge or talent if I don’t give it away? Of having stories if I don’t tell them to others? Of having wealth if I don’t share it? I don’t intend to be cremated with any of it!

It is in giving that I connect with others, with the world and with the divine. It is in giving that I feel the spirit of my daughter inside me, like a soft presence.”

~ Isabelle Allende


When I read this, I was particularly caught by the idea of loving even when I don’t know if the other person likes me. In the loving is the joy.

What about you? Anything in what Allende says speak to you?


Leave a Comment

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Patti M November 28, 2012 at 9:07 am

To Isabelle,

May the love you give be returned to you 100 fold.


Thank you for sharing this with us.
We all know it deep down but it takes a reminder from someone who has been as close to her God as is possible while on earth. There is nothing more painful than to lose a child. It is against nature and it takes us to our spirit/core very quickly!

What Isabelle has written is and always will be a profound and enduring truth.

Patti M

2 Bonnie November 28, 2012 at 5:00 pm

You’re welcome, Patti. I’m glad this spoke to you. The way you wrote this made me wonder if you’ve had the experience yourself of losing a child. I certainly hope not. If you have, my deepest sympathy to you.

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